Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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