great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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