so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
