As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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