Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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