My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
