oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Where is the hickey?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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