How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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