actually, I'm a sock model
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
