I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just found a bag of teeth...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
