walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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