So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize