I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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