is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
