the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
