Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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