Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
