she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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