well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
