fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
