Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
