I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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