Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
