The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
