At least make sure they are 18
Why
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
