you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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