I think im going to throw up on grandma
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
