Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
