I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize