i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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