Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
