I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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