i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
