i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
