I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't deserve a penis
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
