do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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