I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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