You made me cry and you don't even care
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
