What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
