Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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