So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
