This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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