This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
