There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
