you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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