Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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