Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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