I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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