it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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