masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
