you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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