That's intense
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
