Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
