Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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