If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
