Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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