We won't sleep together?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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