trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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