apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
