butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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