sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
the raccoons are back...
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