we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize