I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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