You're completely useless in the revolution.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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