Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
