I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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